In Romneyopolis, the people are rejoicing. They have plenty of money, they have two bright, articulate candidates with specific plans to address the issues of the day, the opponents’ worst attacks have largely failed and they have momentum. Romneyopolis is growing in strength and numbers and the future looks bright.
In Obamaville, the sky is gray, the people are grim and agitated, they look like someone closed a door on their fingers. They spend much more money than they take in, their candidates are tense, angry and frustrated, and one is a complete idiot; their plans for the future are the same plans that failed in the past, their vicious, petty attacks have cost them millions but gained very little ground, and they have the nature of a giant ship slowly settling in the water, engines dead and fuel tanks empty. Obamaville was once a bustling, vibrant city full of hope and change but the hope has faded, the change that was promised is not the change that was delivered, and the people who live there are pessimistic: Those who haven’t fled already are thinking about fleeing.
This was not how the mayor of Obamaville envisioned things. He bitterly criticized his predecessor’s administration and promised that under his gifted leadership, prosperity would return and be more fairly distributed, the city’s reputation with its neighbors would be restored, the merchants who brought the city to the brink of ruin would be tightly restrained and the poor would be lifted up. However, after he was sworn into office, he borrowed huge sums of money to give to his friends and charged it to the city’s account, then kept doing so until the city’s credit rating suffered. Now, as the city faces bankruptcy, he proposes more borrowing, more spending and heavier taxes on the city’s more prosperous citizens even though they already carry 70% of the burden; he castigates the merchants large and small in every speech at the same time he pleads for their support. He insulted the city’s oldest and closest ally, failed in his negotiations with the city’s rivals and when faced with thorny problems his lofty intellect would seem well-disposed to handle, he hesitates, twisted with indecision, preferring to let others take the lead and the risk. As the election draws near and his support withers, he curries favor with liberal women, spendthrift college students, people living and working in the city illegally, pensioners and his favored class, the poor, inflaming passions against the prosperous class and his opponent in an attempt to distract them from his dismal record. And most pathetic, he continues to blame the city’s problems on his predecessor when that man has been three years retired from office.
Romneyopolis or Obamaville: Where would you rather live?